Qualities of a good partner in marriage. In the courtship stage, everything may look beautiful and the problem of personality differences doesn’t really surface. Because it is very important, you know, the personality of your partner before deciding to get married.
Do not let us get too lulled by the euphoria moments of dating that can blind our eyes and we tend to put personality differences aside. To anticipate these problems, in his book entitled ‘Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., explains several personality types that couples can recognize from an early age.
Neatniks are the type who really like cleanliness, tidiness, are very organized in how the house is organized and the ‘things must be returned’ principle is adhered to. Slobs, on the other hand, are the more laid-back type. Don’t pay much attention to neatness, and seem dirty to neatniks.
If both people who have this type are married, then they must make a mutual agreement to reduce conflict. For example, the slobs-type husband who puts dirty clothes out of place will be a problem for the neatniks-type wife. Simple problems but can lead to conflict.
Deadsea is a very quiet type, preferring to analyze a partner without expressing his opinion if not asked. Meanwhile, Babbling Brook is the type who always expresses what’s on his mind by giving every detail in his story.
If these two types are married and are not aware of each other’s personalities. Then the babbling brook type feels ignored by the dead sea type who is always silent. Meanwhile, the dead sea type feels that the babbling brook type always masters the conversation and controls it.
These two types are definitely the opposite. In a marriage, the problem this couple faces is the difference in acting. The aggressive type will always force the passive type to jump into action and believe that ‘we can achieve all this.
Meanwhile, the passive type has another opinion, ‘Wait a minute. There may be better chances, don’t rush. The passive type also often feels controlled by the aggressive type. This difference can lead to conflict between the two.
Professors think logically and they are obsessed with reason. Everything must have a logical reason. While the dancer type doesn’t use reason but uses feelings.
Imagine if they were married without knowing the type of each partner. It could be that the dancer-type wife wants to change the house paint just because she likes the paint color she just saw in the paint shop. Meanwhile, the husband of the professor type cannot accept that reason, because he feels that the paint on his house is still 1 year old, good, and not damaged at all.
Having a husband or wife type organizer is indeed beneficial. This type will always plan something in advance, for example, a vacation. Starting from researching the price of planes, hotels, tourist attractions to be visited, to what food to eat when visiting a place. Everything was planned very carefully.
While the free spirit type is more spontaneous and usually they decide everything the day before according to their feelings and desires at that time. Husbands and wives with a combination of these two types often experience frustration while on vacation because the organizer type has planned everything in advance and all plans are messed up by the free spirit type partner who has a desire that is outside the plan. It is necessary to anticipate and find a way out so that both of them can enjoy a pleasant holiday.
This article Qualities of a good partner in a marriage does not encourage us to look for a partner who has to be the same type as us. It is the same with ‘no human being is perfect. However, getting to know your partner before marriage and discussing it with your partner is one of the things you can do during courtship. This can anticipate the possibility of conflicts that arise when crossing the household ark.