Definition of Counseling Marriage
What is the meaning of marriage Counselling?. Klemer (1965) defines marriage counseling as counseling which he carries out as an educational method. A method of reducing emotional tension, a method of helping married partners to solve problems. And how to determine better patterns of problem-solving.
It is said to be an educational method because marriage counseling provides an understanding to the couple who is consulting about themselves, their partner, and the problems of the marital relationship they are facing, and the ways that can be done in overcoming marital problems.
Emotional tension reduction intends as marriage counseling is carried out usually when both parties are in very difficult emotional situations. With counseling, couples can ventilate, by opening their emotions as a cathartic to the emotional pressures they have faced so far. Those who help are called counselors, a counselor is not a subject, because the counselor only helps, the subject is the client itself and the object is the problem at hand.
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What a marriage counseling can do, among others, help clients to;
1. Understand yourself
2. Measure his abilities
3. Know the readiness and tendencies’
4. Clarify the orientation, motivation, and aspirations,
5. Know the difficulties and problems of the environment in which he lives, as well as the opportunities that are open to him
6. Help use this knowledge (1 to 5) to set the most concrete goals for himself
7. Encourage clients to have the courage to make decisions according to their abilities, and to make optimal use of their potential to seize open opportunities. If the client is a layman, counseling is need to:
– help self-development and choose a lifestyle (lifestyle) by their aspirations
– keep them from falling into a state of feeling unnatural and unhappy
– help make choices
– help relieve feelings, frustrations, and fellow countrymen.
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A client who initially suffer from a sense of alienation
An alien from the problem at hand, alien from his / her environment so that he did not know the problem and did not dare to take action and even no longer knew what he wants, can help to solve his problem with steps as following:
1. invite to understand the realities of what is facing, for example, a love one dies, divorce by a husband lost his position, lost property lost his lover, prolonge illness, betrayed by subordinates, persecute from people who have been assist and so on; that reality is the real reality and must be accepted, like it or not because it is reality.
2. Invited to recognize who he is, what position, and what abilities he has.
For example, he is a reminder of the father of children who need his presence. Or that his intelligence is need by many others, or that he is a servant of Allah who cannot escape from His will, and what his experience is part of His will for which we do not yet know what it means and wisdom.
3. Inviting clients to understand the current situation around them, that the situation is always changing; for example changes in values, changes in structure, changes in times, and that change is fairness that cannot be denied, but what is important is how we respond and anticipate these changes.
4. Invite to believe that God is Just, all-loving, all-knowing, all-forgiving, and all human beings give opportunities by God. Also invited to believe that envy, jealousy, and despair are reprehensible and useless. That doing and wrong are better than not doing because of being afraid of being wrong.
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Marriage Counseling Area
Problems around marriage or family life are usually around;
1. Difficulty choosing a mate, husband, or wife
2. Insufficient economy
3. The differences in character, temperament, and character are too sharp between husband and wife
4. Dissatisfaction in sexual relations
5. Saturation routine
6. Poor relations between in-house families
7. There is a third person, WIL or PIL
8. The issue of inheritance
9. Domination of parents/in-laws
10. Misunderstanding between husband and wife
11. Polygamy
12. Divorce
What is the success rate of marriage counseling?
A question arises about marriage counseling. Is it necessary in marriage both after and after it is held counseling? Of course, the answer is necessary. Because marriage counseling is on the principle contains the urge to live or re-live
basic principles, wisdom, goals, and guidance for living at home Counseling give to make the husband/wife realize again each other’s position in the family and encourage them to do something best not only for himself,
but also for his family.
Traditional guidance features a success rate of 70 to 80 percent. Some research was done a decade ago and it indicates that 38 percent of couples who receive marriage therapy got a divorce within four years of completing therapy.
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if paying attention to the case then marriage counseling is given with the aim of:
(a) Helping the married couple prevent it from erupting
problems that interfere with their married life.
(b) On couples hit by domestic turmoil, Counseling
is given with the intention that they can solve the problem themselves
that are facing.
(c) In pairs who are in stage rehabilitation, counseling give so that they can maintain the condition what is good becomes better
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How does this aid agency work?
The purpose of marriage counseling is so that clients can undergo through married life properly, happily, and able to solve problems that arise in married life. Therefore, in principle, marriage counseling contains the urge to live or re-live the principles basic, wisdom, goals, and guidance in living according to household Islamic teachings. Counseling is giving so that husband/wife realizes again each other’s position in the family and encourages them to do something best not only for themselves but also for his family.
If you pay attention to the case by case then marriage counseling gives the aim of Helping the marriage partner prevent the occurrence/eruption of the problem interfere with their married life. On a spouse who is hit domestic turmoil, counseling gives the intention is that they can solve the current problem themselves face. For couples who are in the rehabilitation stage, counseling gives so that they can maintain their existing condition good for the better.